So You Want to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse
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So You Want to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

Getting the know how to survive the zombie apocalypse.

 

1. The Brain is a Muscle, USE IT!

You just saw your best friend ripped to shreds by zombies and are overflowed with irrational emotions. Your mind becomes a hive of thoughts buzzing of what is happening, how it can be possible, and if that is really  old lady Jenkins gumming on his organs. The sooner you realize that those thoughts are useless at the moment the more valuable time you could have to escape. You're friend would have wanted you to live, don't let his death be in vain.

2. What will You Wear?

Layers are good, you will want anything that will keep a zombie from biting into your flesh but too many layers can slow you down and limit your flexability. Don't wear clothes that are easy to snag or easy to get a hold of unless you are able to shed a layer quickly. If you are wearing flip flops or for some reason shoes with a heals you will be better off bare foot. You want shoes that offer support and can land each step as quietly as possible, a good pair of sneakers can do the trick and keep you running for your life longer.

3. Blowing Smoke

Its a no brainer, smoking is bad for you and during an outbreak is not exactly the smartest time to even think about getting wasted. You will be doing plenty of running, the last thing you need is to be coughing your lungs out or stumbling about trying to escape. Now is a good time to let your habits go because this time they will likely kill you.

4. Clear the Room

In a zombie apacolypse observation is a key tool to survival. If you are looking for a hide out, a friend or family member, or just looting you need to be aware of your surroundings. You need to look and listen, zombies tend to drag their feet when not chasing down their food and make wheezing and groaning sounds when not aggrivated. Look for any trace of blood or busted furniture and broken glass, things like this could be a sign the house has been occupied by the undead. Move silently, stay clear of windows and make sure the coast is clear before stepping foot into a room.

5. More to Fear than Zombies

The world has gone to hell, outside is a hectic playground for zombie masses who jump at the first sign of life. You're so focused on the craziness going on out there you may be totally unaware of the crazies you are hiding out with. The mind is really a delicate thing and an unstable one will have a difficult time coping with what is exactly happening to the world. The last thing you need is a crazy going on a killing spree on the living. Now is a good time to learn to spot signs of an unstable mind and what you can do to subdue the individual before things get way to out of hand.

6. Weapon of Choice

Believe it or not, you home is an inventory of many items that can be used to save your life. Simple house hold items such as a kitchen knife or a baseball bat can be used to knock a zombie down and if you do it right, keep him down. If you are using a gun, keep in mind though it can give you the right result the sound will carry to the ears of wandering zombies on the look out for fresh flesh. A gun should not be your primary weapon for putting zombies in their place and ammo may not always be around when you need it. Find a durable weapon you are able to swing, your best bet may be blunt objects that tend to deliver great force and send zombies crashing to the ground (i.e. a crowbar can be swift and pack a powerful punch).

7. Splatter Their Grey Matter

Hopefully by now we all know that the best way to keep a zombie from getting back up is to destroy the brain. Whether you are using a blunt object or a gun, always aim for the head. Turning your back on a zombie could be the last mistake you'll ever make, the only good zombie is a dead zombie. Double check your work to make sure there will be no unpleasant surprises.

8. Things that go "BOOM"

Homemade bombs can be dangerous in the wrong hands, if you do not know what you are doing you can end up all over the place. Anything explosive is an efficient way to take out multiple zombies at once and damage surrounding ones. Though zombies don't react much to pain, any zombie on fire will definately try to get at you faster before the brain boils to mush within their skull so keep your guard up and take out any threat nearing you. Keep in mind, a loud boom will most likely attract zombies and it would be best to get out of there before more show up.

9. Best if Used By

Things like dairy don't exactly have a long shelf life and lets face it, who knows how much longer electricity will continue to run after an outbreak (which render your refridgerator pretty much useless). If you plan on continuing to nourish your body to keep you at the top of your game you will need to stock up on canned food and lots of water, it will only be a matter of time before you find yourself slugging down those nasty canned peas.

10. Set of Wheels

Its the end of the world and breaking the law is the least of your worries when you are picking your mode of transportation. Every vehicle will have its pros and cons, knowing what your priority is will help you decide which vehicle is the right one for you. If you are a lone wolf, pick a vehicle that has great gas mileage such as a dirt bike. If you are traveling with a group you may want something bigger, just keep in mind that picking a gas-guzzling vehicle may not be the smartest way to go. Check the backseat, buckle up, and drive!

11. A Higher Place

Lets face it, zombies don't exactly have the best motor skills so climbing may be a difficult task for them. Its best to avoid heavy populated places such as a city and any place underground like subways. When finding a shelter suitable for your needs, be sure there is a way "up". It can be the attic of a house or the rooftop of a warehouse, as long as you have planned ahead you should have an escape plan or even some food to get you by until the coast is clear.

12. Escape Plan

Even if you manage to make it to a secluded cabin in the woods an escape plan should be established within your shelter, have one way in and only one way out. If you find youself in a higher place like a roof top be sure you have food stored or a back up weapon there and maybe even some rope if you find it safe to scale down the side of the building so you can make your escape.

13. The Great Disappearing Act

A zombie is focused on one thing alone, the constant search for fresh meat. Throwing raw meat or noise makers is a good way to distract zombies long enough for you to escape, at least until they realize what you threw was not the real deal.

14. If You Can't Beat'em, Join'em!

Since when was the last time you've seen dead on dead crime? Its not often, zombies don't tend to try and eat one another which is why if you find yourself needing to bail from your current location, covering yourself with the scent of the dead is your best bet for sneaking by zombies without alarming the horde. When covering yourself, just make sure your avoid eyes and mouth. The virus is transfered through blood and saliva of the dead, it would be a shame to infect yourself.

15. Stuid is, Stupid Does

Utilize the clueless and loud mouths to your advantage, the people who ask all the questions and make irrational decisions. Think of these people as your pawns, these are the people who will take the fall while you are escaping. Deciding to travel in a group can increase your odds for survival but be wary of attachments, running back to save one person can be the end to you both.

16. In it for the Long Haul

You've barricaded the doors and boarded up the windows, you have an exit plan and enough food to get you by for awhile. You have established your safe zone until rescue decides to show up and the best thing you can do now is stay put.

Knowing the rules is one thing, following them can mean the difference of living or becoming one of the undead. The choice is yours and for the sake of humanity the living wish you luck.

Update for our partners and users: For those requesting information, we are in litigation against former employees Mark P. Mazza and Patrick M. Williams, and their company PromoCodeWatch, LLC.
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